The Perils Of Petroleum

Okay, continuing on, let’s get back to the Republican energy “policy”:

We will produce more energy at home. We will drill new wells offshore, and we’ll drill them now. We will build more nuclear power plants. We will develop clean coal technology. We will increase the use of wind, tide, solar and natural gas. We will encourage the development and use of flex fuel, hybrid and electric automobiles.

Senator Obama thinks we can achieve energy independence without more drilling and without more nuclear power. But Americans know better than that. We must use all resources and develop all technologies necessary to rescue our economy from the damage caused by rising oil prices and to restore the health of our planet.

I was going to ask the question “what the hell is up with the Republican fascination with drilling?”  Why is it so absolutely necessary that anything we might do to reduce the amount of money spent on energy absolutely must include extracting, processing, and burning more oil from mother Earth.

Ezra thinks that it’s a totally reactionary preference:

Drilling may not work to solve our oil prices or bring down costs, but liberals really hate drilling, and that’s enough.

Au contraire…in fact, the problem is not that liberals are thinking too economically, it’s that they’re thinking too modernly!

When John McCain was a young tot, back in the late Victorian era, many things which have since passed from our culture were quite the rage.  Opium bars, the telegraph, and six-shooter revolvers were things you might see or hear about every day.  Don’t even get me started about how wild it drives him when Cindy, in the privacy of their own kitchen, flashes a bare ankle at him.

But, and here’s the point, a very popular medical treatment was bloodletting, or leeching, the application of leeches to remove excess blood from the human body, thus restoring balance of our precious bodily fluids.

Clearly, McCain feels that the ‘health of our planet’ is endangered, and harmful petroleum simply must be removed from Mother Earth’s overstressed veins before her balance of humours can be restored!

Then, once the harmful fluids have been removed, they had best be burned so that they cannot return and cause more troubles again!

If you think about it, it really all makes sense….


2 Responses to The Perils Of Petroleum

  1. Jim says:

    I’m still confused about how drilling locally helps us — doesn’t the oil go to the oil companies no matter where it’s found? We’d still have to buy it from them, competing with all the others that want to buy their oil. Unless the government’s going to start doing the drilling and selling, it doesn’t seem like it really matters where the oil comes from — we’d still have to pay market value for it. American oil doesn’t look (or cost) any different that Saudi oil coming out of the pump. Or am I missing something?

  2. […] convention last week, touting it as the solution (or part of the solution) to high gas prices. As Jim comments, this doesn’t really make much sense. But, Ezra thinks the Republicans focus on it simply […]

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