In our neverending quest here at Damn Lefties to make your lives a slightly better place, I am writing to you to tell you a story. Not an epic story, not even really a very exciting story. However, in an auto-referential sense that only the post-modern meta-values age could bring us, the story is, in a way, the story of how this very blog post even came to be.
Most of my Faithful Readers know that I am quite Jewish. And when I say ‘quite Jewish’, I mean ‘really cheap.’ Call it frugal, call it thrifty, call it stingy. I’m a cheap bastard. Especially when it comes to things that I really feel like I ought not to be spending money on. So, in the summers, I am really loathe to turn on my house’s central air conditioning. It’s Colorado! I say. It gets cool every. single. night! It’ll be 70 in here by morning.
Which is, for the most part, quite true. It almost always gets into the 60’s at night, so leave a couple of fans in the windows overnight, and it’ll be quite pleasant by morning. However, that doesn’t really make up for the fact that, during the sort of heat spells we’ve been having lately, with highs around 100 nearly every day, it will be somewhere well north of 80 inside from when I get home from work until I go to bed, or even later.
And, frankly, when it’s 83 degrees in your house, the last thing you want to do is sit on your couch and hold a laptop anywhere in the general vicinity of your…masculinity, if you know what I’m saying. And so I’ve been spending a lot less time on the computer, and hence a lot less time blogging, lately when I’m home after work, because hot masculinities simply don’t put me in the mood to blog at all.
And, thus, I found myself at Best Buy tonight, shopping for a device to save my precious masculinity from the oppressive heat of progress. To my shock, the new “thing” in laptop-protective pads is a plastic device with built-in fans, which plugs into the USB port on your laptop and literally blows cooling air onto the bottom of your computer, and which is designed to vent the warm air out the sides. I must say, I found the whole thing rather…offensive. I’m really not a gadgetey guy, and this just struck me as the kind of thing that we design to fail – rather than a simple plastic piece, put some fans in, which will wear out, so they’ll have to buy another one in a few years!
But, there was one on sale, for less than the fan-lacking one, so I figured I’d give it a shot. Here’s the one I bought specifically. And I must say, Faithful Readers, that I am a convert! Not only are my masculinities safe and sound, cool as the other side of the pillow as Stu Scott used to say, but even the top of the laptop is much cooler than it used to be. Let’s hear it for the heat of progress!